Home sweet apartment!

As promised, please allow me to show you around my new place! Well. Parts of it. Obviously I'm not gonna show you like...the bathrooms, or the guest room/office, which is currently a cat shantytown (by which I mean it's full of half-empty boxes). But parts of it look pretty legit! Almost like actual functional grown-ups live here! Let's look, and I shall regale you with tales along the way. Also a quick disclaimer: these are all cellphone pictures, because I didn't think to pack my camera. Worst. Blogger. Ever. 

Living room! So, this was the hardest to pull together. We started out with no living room furniture at all, so we had to shop around for a couch, coffee table, and entertainment center thingy, then wait for it all to get delivered. We ended up getting everything from Rooms to Go. The entertainment center came first because it was a floor model, so it came from the store rather than having to come from a warehouse. You'd think that would mean it was faster and easier to get, and you'd be right if they hadn't first brought us the wrong one. It worked out eventually though, so I won't complain too much. 

I'm obviously really fond of all the furniture we got (or else I wouldn't have picked it),  but the entertainment center is probably my favorite part. I just think it's super interesting and stylish, plus it's nice solid wood, so it'll last for ages. And since it was the floor model, it was an attractively discounted price. The bookcase is just a simple Room Essentials brand one from Target (there's another one just like it, but shorter, in the bedroom). The small table by the door (from Ikea several years back) is just temporary--at some point I'd like to replace it with something more decorative, maybe a little art deco number of some sort. For now it's a good place to keep sunglasses and things that get misplaced on the way in or out the door, like wallets and phones.

The chairs are, again, and surprising no one that is at all familiar with my Target addiction, from Target. They're lightly padded and are actually surprisingly comfortable, especially considering how affordable they were. If you're wondering why the table from by the front door is over there hiding behind the table, it's because the day I took this was the day our couch was being delivered, so I scooched it out of the way. That table, by the by, is actually a source of great pride. It cost us a whopping fifteen dollars. Yeah, I said it. FIFTEEN DOLLARS. Of course, it started out life looking like this:

I mean, it was assembled. I'm just not great at forethought and didn't think to take a picture of its starting point until I'd already gotten it disassembled to get it home from Goodwill. You can see it started out with some uninspiring laminate on the tabletop and plain wooden legs (feet? I feel like the legs are actually the brass part, which would logically make the wood parts the feet, but...then aren't the little balancer thingies also called feet? Or are those toes? Someone help me, table anatomy is not my strongsuit). But I really liked the unusual silhouette, and I had a vision for what it could be. A bit of sanding, some primer, and two coats of shiny black lacquer later, and it's a sassy little beast. 

 

Speaking of sassy beasts: bonus cat picture! It kind of vaguely shows off our lovely wooded view (we got an apartment on the back of the building, so our balcony is relatively private and quiet), so it's sort of on topic. Mostly I just like to give the people what they want, and what the people want is cat pictures. I assume. 

Here's the rest of the kitchen. The island is movable, but it's really useful where it is, providing valuable prep space, so it's most likely going to continue living there. The walls by the table desperately need some sort of art or shelves or SOMETHING, anything to make them less bare, but as you can imagine, decorating the walls is lower on the priority list. So for now, let's just pretend it's a minimalist statement.  

And of course, the most important part of any domicile: a nice comfy bed. One of the things I was most excited for about this apartment was the fact that the rooms are surprisingly huge: big enough for this king sized monster. I know the picture doesn't show much detail, but the bed frame is from Ikea and has four gimongous drawers underneath for bonus storage. Our closet is respectably sized, but we also have a lot of stuff, so extra storage is always welcome. The mattress was a gamble, since I bought it online without having tested it out at all. The reason I made this leap of faith? It was only around $300. For a king size, 8 inch memory foam mattress. With free shipping, even! That's a steal. I got it through Sears, whose return policy on mattresses gives you 60 days to return or exchange if it turns out to be hideously uncomfortable. Luckily it's a damn DREAM to sleep on, so we didn't have to worry about that. The duvet is a linen/cotton blend set from Target that I got on clearance for half off, and the sheets are the Pure Beech Jersey set in black, which I got from Bed Bath and Beyond and used a 20% off coupon on. I tell you this because I am a long-time evangelical when it comes to these sheets. They're well under a hundred dollars, even in king size, come in some fun colors, and are easily the softest sheets I've ever touched. I've had several sets over the years, and I recommend them every chance I get. Seriously, go feel the sample at BB&B if you're in the market for sheets.

And now, after detailing the glory that is that bed....I think I'll go crawl into it for the night. 

"Do one eye at a time, in case you go blind." "Yeah, I could rock a bejeweled eyepatch."

     I endeavored on a kind of stupid pursuit a few days ago: eyelash tinting. You're never ever ever supposed to do it because allegedly you can go blind, but after doing a little reading my conclusion (just mine! Don't ever follow my example, it will only lead you to sorrow) was that it's one of those things where it may have happened once or twice a long time ago but it probably won't happen now, the FDA just has to warn you because they don't want you chemically burning your eyeballs out thinking they said it was ok. So anyway, I did it. I did a bunch of research and picked the brand that I felt was safest (something called Refectocil, in case you're wondering -- I also used their brand of oxidant, just to make things easy). It was pretty easy; I decided to slap some tape on the back of my hand a few times to take the stickiness down, then put it under my eyes to prevent too much staining, then just mixed up the dye and brushed it on with the brush from the kit. I was pretty careful not to get it in my eyes (I wore contacts for like ten years before I got my eyeballs lasered, so I'm pretty good about not flinching or twitching my eyes too much, so I only felt the tiniest bit of stinging when a bit of the dye got in. I kept some saline ready just in case I experienced any horrific searing pain and decided to abort the mission before the ten minute setting time was up, but I didn't end up needing it. And I'm not blind! But enough about that, let's talk about the before and after.

After lashes are just dyed, no mascara or anything at all. And so shiiiiny. 

     You might be able to tell in the after picture that there are a few stubborn eyelashes that just really wanted to stay white, but I ain't even mad. That's a damn fine improvement, I think. I'm super pleased with it because having just that little bit of extra definition means I feel like I don't have to wear mascara every day since my lashes are naturally so blonde they're kind of invisible from a distance without mascara, which is...odd looking, to say the least, on me. I have recently developed a visceral hatred for mascara. I mean, I still love what it does. It's so strangely satisfying to put on a good mascara and then feel like you could shoo a butterfly away with your lashes. But I despise taking it off at night. It's just too messy, and I have never been able to find a good remover that doesn't get it all over my face or sting my eyes or irritate my sensitive baby princess skin or break my lashes or make my eyesight all bleary. So being able to wash my face without temporarily looking like a large raccoon has been a delight, not to mention that it's nice to wake up feeling just a little bit prettier without having to do anything daily.

     So I'm not going to tell anybody "Oh yeah it's totally fine, do it!" but I'll just say "Eh, it didn't turn my eyeballs into jam" and shrug noncommittally. And probably bat my shiny dark eyelashes.

Melted Popsicle Project: Part I

     So the time has come once again: the time when Amanda wants to do something different with her hair. This time she started off with slightly faded dyed black hair and was shooting for something like this; a sort of ombre fade into turquoise. Here's the before.

     And here's all the supplies she picked up at Sally's, in case you're interested in such things.

 

The Wella Colorcharm is for toning the hair once it's been bleached nice and pale to give you a good non-orangey starting point. She didn't use it this go-round because her hair only lifted about three levels and she was fine with a more green-y blue anyway. 

     I warned her that because her hair was starting off so dark there was pretty much no way she was going to get it light enough to be as vibrant as her inspiration picture in one go. So she just bleached the tips until they were light enough to at least take some color, then put the blue overtop, reasoning that once it fades (and her hair has had some time to recover; obviously avoiding damage is always a priority) she can do another round of bleach to take it lighter, then add blue on top again. So! Now that we've got all that out of the way, here's an after for you!

     As the title gives away, I hope to bring you an update as it progresses so you can see how this hair experiment turns out. Right now it's pretty subtle except in sunlight. But hopefully we can get it to her goal: looking like a melted blue popsicle (hey, follow your dreams everybody).

Looket this weird thing I bought!

     Whilst I was perusing my local Ulta the other day I found this weird looking little doo-dad. Any guesses what it's for? 

     I feel like it looks like you'd use it to trim your nose hairs or something, but it's actually a heated eyelash curler, a thing I didn't know I wanted/needed until I saw it. It says on the package that it "creates a dramatic false-lash effect" or something, so I got suckered in and bought it because I want the most dramatic lashes possible. I want to blink and cause a gust that stirs idle tumbleweeds into motion. I want people to look at my lashes and fall to their knees, incredulous at the sheer drama of my lashes. Yes, I have big dreams. Anyway, I thought I'd do a little testing and see if this thing works. 

     First let me get the basic info out of the way: this thing is by the Ulta store brand and was $15 (I had a 20% off total purchase coupon so I paid slightly less). It comes with a AAA battery that you stick in by removing the gray part from the black part. You're supposed to let it heat up for a minute prior to using it, and the box recommends using it after you put on mascara. Once your mascara is dried, you hold it against your lashes at the base and sloooowly pull it up, like you're putting on another coat of mascara. It doesn't get hot enough to ever hurt, much less burn you -- I put it directly on the back of my hand to test this, because apparently that science safety video from 7th grade made no lasting impression on me other than the guy saying "Then my teeth actually began to shizzle!" because he used his mouth to pipette battery acid out of his car or something stupid. 

     But here's the part people will probably care about: the before and after. 

Also an excellent opportunity to get super familiar with the frightening number of veins visible in and around my eyeballs because I didn't put on any other makeup for this and I am secretly a scary ghoul. 

Pros: It curled my lashes better than a traditional lash curler, mostly because I could do it all in one long slow swipe, rather than having to do that whole "crimp three times from the base to the tip of the lash" thing that you're supposed to do with a regular lash curler. I can never get that right, so my lashes end up either curled only at the base or weirdly angular and crimped, so I do like the ease of use on the heated one. The curl is also a little more long-lasting than a traditional curler because it uses heat (duh) and you do it after mascara, whereas using the crimpy kind after mascara can rip out your lashes (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh), so it has that extra bit of hold already in place. 

Cons: It's kind of time consuming. I felt like I had to do it a few times to get the result I was after, but that may just be because I'm new to it and trying to figure out how to make it work its best. Also because you're messing around with mascara after it's dry on your lashes, there's the potential for flaking. I had a few little flakes on my eyelid when I was done, but again, a caveat: I was using a mascara I hate because it's the least dramatic one I own, which seemed the most fair to test this out with (if I used a crazy dramatic one, obviously it would look like something had worked magically). So a better mascara, like the Estee Lauder Sumptuous Extreme volumizing one I usually use and have never had flaking issues with, might not have the same problem.

Final verdict: I think this would be good for someone who isn't comfortable with the normal kind of eyelash curler that looks like it's going to melon-ball your eye out. If you can't get the hang of that kind without pinching yourself, this one would be good for you. I don't think it's going to work miracles on very straight eyelashes, just because it doesn't have that squeezey motion to force them into place with heat (though they do make the squeezey-kind that's heated too, they're just harder to come by). I think if you're going to get either this or a decent-quality traditional curler (like the plastic Tweezerman one -- I prefer it to metal ones because there's no risk of the pad coming out and chopping your lashes off), I'd tell you to go for this one since it's in the same price range, is easy to use, and gives a more natural looking, longer-lasting curl. 

    

Quick Fixes: Alternate Ending Edition?

     One of the perils of working from home is that it's hard to designate a work space, so if you're anything like me you end up working in bed all day. Supposedly that's bad because then your brain associates climbing into bed with working instead of sleeping, so it's harder to sleep at night or whatever (the human brain is an amazing piece of machinery. And also really stupid). Plus I feel like if you sit on memory foam all day your ass'll turn to straight-up mush. I can't work at my desk because the chair is really uncomfortable and the height of it would make my head snap off my neck after a few hours of working (I hunch. I hunch bad). So I've been trying to get into the habit of using my super-comfy glider and a lap desk. That way it's comfy, I don't slouch over what I'm doing, and I can set everything aside to get up and walk around every now and again (so my butt doesn't turn to Play-Doh. The concern is real). The only problem? After staring at that lap desk for hours every day I started to resent it for its ugliness. I don't know why; it's not like it had, like, a repeating print of the poop emoji all over it. I just got really tired of looking at its fake wood-grain top. I make no claims that this is rational. It is but my truth. 

Ugh, look at it. It's like...smug. 

       My weird projections about the bad attitude of a slab of compressed sawdust aside, it also had some nail polish and ink stains on it that weren't exactly gorgeous. So a plan was hatched! First let's see how it turned out. 

Ta-daaaaa! If this picture looks hastily taken, it's because my camera kept saying "battery exhausted" and turning off before I could take an after picture and I was like "okwhateverfine camera, WE'RE ALL EXHAUSTED BUT WE STILL DO OUR JOBS." 

     So to get to this I took a roll of wrapping paper, cut a manageable approximation of the right size, then hit the lap desk with some spray glue and carefully rolled the paper across it, trying to keep it from getting any bubbles underneath. Then when it was all smooth I flipped it over and traced around it with an x-acto knife and did two coats of clear lacquer to seal it, so if I spill Diet Coke on it or something it'll wipe right off.

THAT'S HOW IT COULD HAVE HAPPENED.

     Now if I made that seem like it was all sunshine and daisies and the magical crafting gods smiled down upon me and said "let thine endeavors go smoothly on this day," that is because I am a tricksty hobbits who trickstily arranged her blog post to make her look like less of a failure. But then thought "whatever, everyone already knows I'm a failure" and decided to include the rest of the story too. 

     What actually happened was that when I bought the wrapping paper I thought "Oh I'll just mod-podge this onto the top and it'll be all glossy and decoupaged and cool!" And so I did a nice thin even layer of mod-podge, then carefully rolled my paper across, squeegeeing out any air bubbles as I went...only to have it turn wrinklier than the littlest piggy at the market after a long bath when it dried. At this point I stared at it, seething and remembering the last time I used mod-podge, which also ended with me saying "Why do people even use this? It suuuuucks!" Seriously, I am hard-pressed to remember a mod-podge project that didn't end in total unmitigated disaster. So it looked like crap, and it was too late to just pull it off and try again, so I spent twenty minutes scraping it off with a...spackler? What is this thing even called?

     So that was fun. And by fun I mean I sandpapered off my fingerprints trying to get the last bits off. 

     But all's well that ends well, and it looks nice now. And I learned an important lesson: Never to try a mod-podge project again as long as I live. Yay, learning! 

(Insert your favorite pun based on the word "dye" here)

     Yesterday was an exciting benchmark -- my first foray into dyeing clothes! I had never dyed anything before (aside from tie-dye projects, obviously. Wait, is that obvious?), mostly because I had this conception that it was a big hassle and super messy. But I finally had the kick in the pants I needed to try it out, in the form of this hand-me-down shirt. 

     Amanda was cleaning out her closet the other day and asked me if I wanted this shirt to sleep in or something. The caveat of "to sleep in or something" is because of that stain on the left sleeve; apparently she got chocolate on it, didn't notice, washed and dried it, then noticed it, and....left it sitting in her closet for five months. So that's a pretty damn set-in stain. It was not coming out. And sure, I could have just worn it as a PJ top, but it's one of the nice soft, drapey, comfy shirts from Victoria's Secret that I'm too cheap to buy myself. I wanted to make the most of this freebie! So I decided to try dyeing it a dark color to hide the stain and thus squeeze some extra wearability out of it. I figured it was at least worth a shot, since even if I ruined it completely somehow, hey, it was still a free shirt to begin with. 

     I picked this dark purple dye because I figured it would camouflage the stain but still be pretty. Obviously to hide a chocolate stain, brown or black would be the easiest options, but I didn't want to go brown because brown is a disgusting color (sorry I'm not sorry), and black would have looked fine, but since I mainly wear dark-washed jeans or leggings, dyeing the shirt black would pretty much rule out wearing it anywhere other than funerals with very casual dress codes. So, purple it is. I followed the directions on the back of the packet almost to the letter, except that it said to stir the fabric item in the dye/hot water/salt mixture constantly for fifteen minutes, and I felt like surely they had just put that on there to screw with people. Fifteen minutes is a long time to stand around stirring a tub of clothes and murky water like Charlie Bucket's mom. I stirred for maybe three minutes before I got bored and quit. 

I mean, I stirred it a little better than this. 

     Then after it had stewed for the appropriate amount of time, I rinsed-rinsed-rinsed it in the sink before chucking it in the washer on cold with some similarly colored items. Yeah, I did a purple load. How's that for separating your laundry? I didn't put it in the dryer because the packet said to avoid exposing the dyed item to heat or sunlight. So to avoid heat, I figured best not put it in the dryer or wear it when snuggled up in my heated blanket, and to avoid sunlight, I'll just continue my usual cave-dweller lifestyle. Once it had air-dried...ta-da!

     You can still see the stain if you're looking, but it's at a level of unnoticeableness (pretend that's a word) that I'm comfortable with. Only the truly detail-oriented will notice when I'm wearing it (especially because it's on the back of the sleeve, where I'd have to be raising my hand or something, which I rarely do because I'm a rebel and I'll talk out of turn if I want to, dammit. YOLO and such).  I think it's kind of cool how the embroidered Victoria's Secret dog at the bottom didn't take any dye since it's synthetic thread and synthetic fibers are less porous than natural fibers because they're spun from polymers that make it smooth and blah blah blah, science. I am glad that none of the other threads are visible though, because I don't think I'd like a purple shirt with neon green seams. Too much muchness. The other side-effect is that all that stirring around with a stick, combined with no heat from the dryer, means this shirt streeeetched out quite a bit. I'm actually totally cool with that, because it just makes it slouchy and cocoon-esque and generally a delight to wear, but if you're thinking about dyeing something yourself, take that into account. 

     Overall I am happy to report that my first foray into at-home clothes dyeing is a success! I like when that happens. 

A hair post that isn't about me!

     As much as I like to talk about my own hair, today let's do a little before and after action of someone else's: my sister Amanda! She's been wanting to dye her hair dark purple like Katy Perry (her life-idol) for a while. Like this...

     And apparently yesterday she got express approval from her boss that it would be fine. So she decided to go for it! (A note to my mother, to whom this will probably be news: she decided on her own, don't blame my influence here. I just helped, cause if you're gonna do it, might as well do it right. Having fun in Florida? Feeling like we can't be trusted when left alone? I love you!) Having gone through a rainbow of funky hair colors myself, I had some useful insight in the area. Since her hair was already mostly naturally dark, with some ombre blonde at the ends, layering purple over it would result in the color being very subtle at the top (since it's obviously not going to come out neon when put over dark dark brown) and a bit brighter at the bottom (where the hair is lighter and a bit more porous, which makes it better equipped to grab onto color). But she didn't want to commit to a style that she might change her mind about any minute, so we decided on Manic Panic, which, as anyone who has used it will know, is kind of harder to keep in than to wash out. That way it would be bright and fun for a bit, but easily faded with clarifying shampoo or hot oil treatments should she get sick of it. Low commitment! The other benefit is that since Manic Panic is just a vegetable dye, it wouldn't damage her lovely silky Barbie hair at all. But enough blabbering. Here's the before and after!

That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets.

     Alright, I promised you a post detailing that insane Zuul hair, so let's get right to it. As I mentioned before, the method I went with was essentially just rolling itty bitty rag curls all over my hair (using this tutorial) after slightly dampening it with a spray bottle of water and running some volumizing mousse through it. The first time I tested it out, I rolled them all myself while watching an episode of Blue Planet. The night before the Halloween party, though, I asked my mom and Amanda to help, since I've been sick for seemingly forever and my arms would have gotten too tired (if you're wondering how I reconciled those two things -- being sick and a Halloween party -- it's because I was the designated driver, so basically all I had to do was go look cool in my costume and be sick in a different location). By the time they finished, I looked like this. 

Hands over the face in shame at the thought of letting people see me with this mess on my head. Also, I didn't have makeup on.

     All told, I think it took a total of around 2 hours to get all those teensy rolls in there. So then I slept on it, and in the morning, the Zuul hair we all know and love was born. The rolls obviously come out a lot faster than they go in, but it still took a while to unroll them all and fluff them up a bit. I kept fluffing it up throughout the day, because at first it was looking a little too Weird Al for my liking. Pictorial evidence!

     You can tell in that picture that a) I'm full of totally original and hilarious ideas and b) the rolls toward the bottom of my head were looser and done with bigger chunks of hair because my helpers were getting tired of rolling by that point. I don't blame them, it's hard work and I was grateful to have them. But after some hairspray and finagling it looked just fine. That hair really grew on me (HA), by the end of the day I was actually starting to feel like it was kind of a hot look. 

     When it was time to return to my normal hair, I sprayed on some leave-in conditioner/detangler and settled in with a brush, expecting the worse. I was surprised to find that after a good brush, it wasn't bad at all. I put it in a braid for the night (which I do most of the time anyway, since when my hair is this long I sometimes feel like it's gaining sentience and trying to strangle me at night if I leave it down, real talk) and in the morning it looked like this. Warning: this is the part where a lot of you are going to make a scoffing noise and say "ugh, this bitch and her hair," because as I have learned, my weird magic-trick hair that pretty much just does whatever I ask it to has a way of making people angry. 

     So the final verdict here is that if anyone wants to try this method for their own Zuul costume needs this Halloween, or for some other big-haired costume (I spent much of the day swanning around in high-waisted shorts feeling like a '70s disco roller girl), or if you just feel like you want to occupy as much physical space as you possibly can, go for it! It's time consuming, but the results are killer, and it didn't damage my hair at all or make it impossibly tangly at all. 

Experimental Rock

     Oh, the wide world of geology-related puns. It shall never cease to amuse me. 

     The reason I made that joke at the risk of infuriating pun-haters everywhere is because this whole shebang I'm about to tell you about was pretty much just an experiment. You see, I didn't have anything else to do, and I had recently found a rock that I'd been holding on to since last fall (I'd shoved it in the pocket of a jacket and forgotten about it). So I figured I'd just kind of play around with it and see where I ended up. Here's the rock in question, and what I did with it. 

     If I recall correctly I picked this up while walking the dogs at the park. It caught my eye because it had a nice glint in the sun and was already pretty flat on two sides. To start out, I took the Dremel to it to smooth and flatten all the edges, then shine it up a bit. Just for fun, here's a shot of one of the sides where I've done one half and not the other. It's satisfying in the same way as powerwashing something really dirty.

     When I got done smoothing everything out, I was left with this.

     I put that in gif form for you because I had a feeling in photos this was going to look like...well, a beige rock. I wanted you to get a sense of the pretty natural sheen and depth. I dunno, maybe I'm just really into rocks. If nothing else, it shows off what I did here, which was just to smooth everything out and bring out the natural shape of the rock, because that's my personal preference (remember how I like my things to look like they were crafted by an ancient artisan and only recently excavated?).

     Anyway, next I decided I wanted to add some glitz. First I tried taping off the two large flat surfaces and spray painting the sides with my favorite gold spray paint (the Krylon kind). 

     It was alright, and I didn't hate it. But then Amanda suggested I gold leaf the sides (she had some that she'd received in a monthly nail art box -- of course -- that she wasn't ever going to use). Go big or go home, right? That's what I loved about this experiment: if it succeeds, awesome, I get to look like the coolest witch in the coven with some weirdo homemade rock jewelry; if not, hey, it's a rock. Throw it back outside.

     Here's what's cooking once the gold leaf was applied.

      Much better! To actually turn this into a piece of jewelry, I just spun some little loopies into some gold wire and wrapped it around. I wanted to hold it in place permanently with a dab of epoxy, because I like to be sure of these things, but then I decided I liked how glossy the epoxy made everything, so I dunked the whole damn thing in there. Just went for it. Then proceeded to glue my hands to EEEEVERYTHING. It sucked. But this turned out to be a pretty pendant!

     So this guy will not be getting chucked back outside! I love a happy ending. 


     And the happy ending to this post is a nice before and after shot to remind you how far we've come (and for convenient Pinteresting purposes. Yeah, hi all you readers coming from Pinterest! Welcome, come in, sit down, have a lemonade, don't let the dog drool on you).

Quick Fixes: Musical Lamps?

     Not literally, of course (I say "of course," but what do I know, you can probably buy a lamp that sings you Justin Bieber songs. If a toothbrush, why not a lamp, after all?). No, I mean in a musical chairs style. Lamp swap! You all know by now that it's important to me that my bed is the comfiest, best place that it can be, because I spent a lot of my time there. Not just sleeping, I do a lot of my writing, editing, and general lounging on my bed. There's some fuel for your Millenial Hatred, free of charge! Anyway, since I've been spending so much time lately amping up my pillow cred, I noticed that one thing in that area was still really bothering me. Namely, the reading lamp that I've had precariously balanced on my headboard for months and months and months. 

     It really needed to be swapped out for something more functional because not only did it occasionally topple off there and onto my sleeping head, but it was also kind of useless as a reading lamp because I couldn't actually reach it to turn it off without getting completely out of my nice warm covers (Where do I collect my trophy for biggest case of "First World Problems?"). So! A few hours after I had been complaining about this setup to my mom, she appeared before me magically holding a clip-on type lamp that she'd found in the attic. All my problems solved! Aren't moms the best? The only drawback was that the lamp was black. Booooo. All black clothes, no black in my bedroom decor, that's the rule, for I am a woman of mystery. But that was nothing some spray paint couldn't fix! 

Before, creatively taped to keep the cord, the bendy spine-thing (technical term), and the inside of the lamp shade from getting gunked up with paint, and after.

     I painted a coat of white spray paint on first, just so that if the pink paint didn't totally cover every single area flawlessly it would be white peeking through and it wouldn't be noticeable, as opposed to glaringly obvious black patches. Do you like how the quality of the photos degrades through each step? That's because I started nice and early and took a pretty, naturally lit picture, then moved to the shade to paint, then....completely forgot about it until 11:30 last night. Oops. 

     Once I got it clipped up there, I sighed in relief. It looks so much more intentional, and now I can actually reach it to turn it off when I'm getting sleepy without having to exit my blanket cocoon! 

     Aaah, I do love how little things can make such big improvements.

Upgrading the Cloud Situation

     I realize that title sounds like code for some sort of horrible top secret operation, but don't get out your conspiracy theorist hats just yet. All it means is I spent some time working on fixing up my bedding (aka the Puffy Pink Cloud; the memory foam and fluffy pink duvet combine to create a rather convincing cloud effect). I decided I needed a different accent pillow after my mom pointed out that the one I had been throwing on there wasn't quite right. I also thought I should go ahead and make a cover for a second body pillow while I was at it, because since I recently removed my boxspring to fix a bunch of weird height alignment issues with the windowsill and various outlets and junk (turns out you totally don't need a boxspring if you have a bed frame that has slats and stuff to support your mattress -- unless you just really like the extra support of a wooden box under there. I do not. I wish to sink so far into my bed that there is almost a suffocation hazard. Almost.) it's had the side effect of my pillows getting sucked back behind the mattress at the top. So a second body pillow was in order to combat the pillow suck. So off to the sewing machine I went, and a couple hours and under ten bucks later (all I had to buy was the white polka dotted fabric and the ruffled trim -- the blue striped fabric is the same stuff I used to cover my bookcase to keep Bessie the Destroyer out of it, and it was from my Grandma when she was clearing her fabric stash a bit so it was freeeee!), this change had occurred:

     I realize that makes it look like it also got dark outside, but the first picture is actually from a few days ago, because I'm a cheat like that. I should mention that I didn't actually cover the pillow that wasn't quite right, it's sitting in my glider now and it looks nice there. The new pillow is made from a pillow form I found in the attic.

     Anyway, I took some process pictures and was going to write out some basic instructions but now that I'm looking at them, I realize that the whole process is basically, "Rectangles. Sew a bunch of them. In various sizes. At some point, add some trim if you like." 

     Seriously. I shan't patronize you by showing you pictures of what it looks like to sew a rectangle. Instead I'll just leave you with another picture of how pretty that accent pillow turned out, and how adding the second body pillow makes everything a bit more structured and less "I just rolled out of this bed three minutes ago." 

Quick Fix: Another chair makeover?

     Can you spot the difference and figure out what I've been up to over the weekend? 

     I don't know what it is that sparked my apparent dissatisfaction with all the chairs in my bedroom this past week, but here we are. This weekend I decided it was time to tackle my desk chair. It badly needed a coat of paint, you see. The chair I call my desk chair actually started life as a kitchen chair about...eight million years ago. Okay, maybe more like 15 years ago, but the three different paint colors showing through various chips and scuffs were making it look older. You can't really tell in the picture, but in real life it was pretty sad-looking. There was also a different cushion on the chair before, but it was in such bad shape (all squashed and flat and ripped open where the ties had pulled away) that I threw it out before I took the picture out of shame.

     As far as furniture renovations go, this was a pretty easy and quick update. I decided to go with pink because a) my room is pretty heavily pink-weighted on one side, what with my pink duvet, pink pillow shams, pink roses above the window, etc., and it needed some balancing out on the other side of the room, and b) I had a can of pink spray paint that I'd picked up at a craft store because I just liked the color, and I'd been itching to use it on something. 

You can see some of the chips and scuffs I was talking about in these close-ups, as well. Like in picture 2, where you can tell this chair was purple in a previous life.

     All I did was take out two screws to remove the seat of the chair, then sand it down, wipe off any dust, and spray away, forcing myself to use thin coats (against my instinct to do one thick gloopy coat that will never dry and which I will regret forever -- I don't know why I am the way I am).

     Once it was nice and evenly coated, I just had to let it dry for a while in the nice breezy sunshine, then bring it in and plop a new cushion down on it; this one was $3.99 at the Christmas Tree Shops. 

 

     So much better! And here's a shot of the whole room, so you can see what I'm babbling about when I say it needed some pink over by the desk to balance things out. 

 

      The room just feels so much more evenly pinkified now. It's amazing what a quick coat of paint will do! 

Fixing the Ugly Chair (Finally)!

     So I've got this chair in my room. 

     Yeah, that one. It's super comfy (I like to sit there while I write up these posts), and the fact that it's a glider appeals to my inner old-lady, but...it's ugly. Real ugly. That huge swath of dark blue with the "dusty-spider" pattern all over it was just acting as a black hole in the middle of my nice, light, fluffy pink cloud of a room. You may remember that for a while I had it covered with my ruffly pink duvet. That worked for a temporary solution, but as the weather got hotter, I wanted that duvet to actually, you know, sleep under (it's nice for hot nights because I don't actually have a duvet in it, so it's basically sleeping under two sheets sewn together. All the monster-protection, none of the overheating!). I knew it was time to think of a better solution. 

     And that's where this comes in!

     Yep, I went a weird route on this one. I'd been keeping an eye out every time I went to the fabric store for something I'd like to cover the chair in, but I just couldn't find a fabric that spoke to me and was soft and cozy but also durable enough to sustain me dramatically flinging myself into the chair when swooning, or whatever. You never know! After I took the pink duvet off the chair, I had draped a  blanket exactly like this one over it instead, and eventually I decided I actually really liked the look of it. The quilting makes it seem plausible for furniture, but it's also plushy and soft and delightful, and it's a nice creamy neutral color. It seemed like a winner to me! But obviously I couldn't just leave the chair draped in a blanket forever. For one thing, it kept getting all bunchy and droopy and sad whenever I sat in it, and for another, I knew as soon as it started getting cold again I'd want the blanket back to sleep under and wear around the house like an oversized toddler with her blankie. So I sucked it up and bought a duplicate of the blanket I had specifically to cover the chair in. It was $30, which is probably around or cheaper than what I would have paid for several yards of upholstery fabric anyway (if I ever found some I liked). And the great thing is that since this blanket has two layers (a quilted front layer and a non-quilted back layer), I could get enough fabric out of it to make the front and back/underside of both cushions for my chair! 

     Now, I'm going to make a judgment call here and not go too in-depth about how I made the cushion covers, because I know most of you will never do this, and if you do you'll probably find a super-amazingly written tutorial for making cushion covers somewhere else on the internet anyway. Most of you just want to see a pretty before and after and go, "Oh, cool! That's less ugly!" So I'll just summarize in case you're curious: basically I took the covers off the cushions and used them as patterns for the new covers. For the top cushion, which was pretty straightforward (the front and back pieces were the same) I just flattened the old cover on top of my blanket and cut around it, then separated the layers for a front and back piece. For the bottom, which had side panels and was a little more complicated, I took a seam ripper to the old cover (it was too old and grimy and ugly to be saved, so don't worry -- sorry, I'm heartless) and used the pieces just like pattern pieces: a top piece of the quilted layer, a bottom piece of the unquilted layer, and side pieces of both layers together, because why not? Then I just sewed the pieces together the way they had been on the old covers, leaving a slot open to shove the stuffins in, then wrestled the cushions in and hand-sewed the slots shut. And now, the final result...

     Ta-da! Aahhh, so squishy and soft and inviting. I love how this turned out. Something about the fluffiness makes me feel like this chair could be in Hagrid's hut (though it'd have to be bigger, obviously). At some point down the road I'd like to paint this chair, because I really dislike this orangey color. It's all solid wood, so I could strip the varnish and stain it a rich dark brown or white-wash it. I could also paint it, but I always feel like it's kind of a shame to take lovely old wood furniture with scratches and dents and character and cover it with a solid painted finish that you can buy anywhere. But for now, I looked at all those spindles and nooks and crannies and moving parts underneath it and said "Eeeeh, I can deal with yellow wood for a while." It's daunting! In the meantime I'll just enjoy my squashy little cloud chair as-is!

Quick Fixes: Glitter Sunglasses!

     So I was perusing a magazine the other day and came across this picture...

     Ooooh. So shiny, so pretty! The problem is that these are almost 400 dollars. Hahahahahahaohgodhelpme. I can't even imagine a world in which spending that much on something that you're almost certainly going to sit on or lose or drop in the toilet makes sense. So I decided that I would take inspiration from these and make something similar for myself -- but on a much more reasonable budget. Aka free, because my budget is just the phrase "DON'T SPEND MONEY, EVER" written in blood on a piece of paper where the spreadsheets and shit would normally be. Remember those free sunglasses I got a while ago? Another pair of those is getting the makeover treatment today! To make these sparkly specs I first gathered my supplies.

     If you want to make a pair of these yourself you'll need: a pair of sunglasses (obviously), some glitter in a color of your choosing (I chose black, because I wanted it to be subtle -- well, as subtle as glitter can get), Mod Podge or Elmer's glue, and a paintbrush. 

     To glitter the glasses, all you need to do is brush the frame with some Mod Podge, then sprinkle some glitter on top. If you're worried about gluing glitter on the actual lenses, you could tape them off or even pop the lenses out if it's an especially cheap pair. I wasn't particularly worried about it, so I just took the gluing slowly and carefully. Mod Podge takes a bit to set and dry, so you can afford to take it slow and do pretty big chunks before you need to get the glitter on there.

     A tip for those that perhaps do not do a lot of be-glittering in their day-to-day lives: always do your glittering over a piece of paper or a magazine. That way you can be really liberal in the application of your glitter, and when you're done you can fold the paper over and use it as a funnel to put the extra back into the original container, so you don't waste any of that precious sparkly goodness.

     That's really all there is to this project: glue, then glitter. Full disclosure so you can learn from my mistakes: after the glitter had dried, I thought it would be a good idea to do a coat of clear enamel to hold the glitter on more securely and lock in the shine. Don't do that. It doesn't work. It somehow managed to mattify big sections of the glitter, making it look like the glasses were just oddly textured, like maybe I sat them too close to a flat-iron or something. It was not a good look. If you're worried about glitter falling off onto your face (I am not, there's usually glitter somewhere on my face anyway. Crafter problems), a thin coat of clear nail polish is the way to go. It holds the glitter on firmly without mattifying the sparkle and negating the whole purpose of this shenanigan.

     Ta-da! These are such a fun way to spice up an otherwise plain pair of sunglasses. And the whole thing only took about half an hour! Granted, I'd probably advise leaving these to dry overnight before you wore them, lest you smudge them up or, I dunno, glue them to your face, rendering you permanently cool, though somewhat disadvantaged in dim settings. But the actual crafting part is super quick and easy, and with results this spangly, I'd say you should definitely give it a shot!