Oops.

Sorry that I'm the worst! 

I bet Yoshi makes a lousy pet.

You know how when people are trying to get to know you they'll ask what your biggest pet peeve is?

     Well I have a lot. Like, more than is probably normal. Just to name a few...

WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO OPEN A TUB OF SOMETHING AND THIS HAPPENS TO THE PLASTIC ON TOP 

 WHEN MY TECHNOLOGY GETS INSOLENT WITH ME

WHEN PEOPLE MISUSE THE TERM "PET PEEVE" (YES I HAVE A PET PEEVE ABOUT PET PEEVES. LET'S GET META)

So I guess the moral of the story here is...don't ask me about my pet peeves unless you have a good chunk of time to kill. 

"So Jacki, how was your weekend?"

(Jen had a cookout. I played with babies. Lots and lots of babies.)

"I don't want to LOSE money by not buying this..."

     Just a little doodle for you on this fine Friday because honestly my brain keeps flying faaaar away (specifically to the beach I'll be at in a few weeks. My brain is taking an early vacation, I guess). 

No moving parts: A true story.

     Alternative title: I have issues. (Also the title of the autobiography I'm not ever actually planning to write.) 

I mean, this may be a slight exaggeration. But it did feel pretty weird. 

I can't decide...

     ...whether I hate vultures for the way they insist on hanging out in the middle of the road, even when I'm sitting two feet away honking at them, or if I kind of admire their attitude. 

The majesty of nature. 

     

WHY.

     I ask you, what bad energy have I put into the universe that I deserve first a horrible debilitating stomach bug, then days of not being able to breathe through my nose AT ALL?

So I'm handling the snow pretty well.

     Basically I figure if I refuse to look at it and continually deny its existence it's not real. No snow here. Nope. Springtime abounds.

Never fails. Every time we have to switch clocks one way or another.

     I could never be a Time Lord. Aside from the whole "watching your loved ones grow old and die or get exiled to unvisitable alternate universes or whatever" thing, I wouldn't handle the time shifts well.

     

Cat ownership in a nutshell.

     It's terribly exciting. 

If we were gonna get rid of a planet, I'd have voted for Mercury.

     Look, Imma level with you. I sat here for an age trying to compile a favorites post for you, but first I couldn't get a good picture of the nail polish I'm obsessed with because it's glittery and I couldn't do it justice, then when I finally got one that I thought I could work with, ALL THE TECHNOLOGY BROKE. Like my photo-editing software was all "nope, not today sucka" so I figured, whatever, I'll just use picmonkey or something, then EVEN THAT WOULDN'T WORK because Chrome is doing a thing right now where none of my plug-ins work? And usually when Chrome starts acting up I just switch over to Firefox until Google sorts it out, but apparently nothing wants to work there either? Anyway the point of this rant is that MERCURY IS IN RETROGRADE AND Y2K IS HERE 14 YEARS LATE. Ok, I'll stop getting all capsy now. I just have a lot of feelings. Cranky feelings. I drew you a self-portrait to share these feelings in freaking Microsoft Paint (which still works fine, probably because Mercury Retrograde adversely affects technology, and MS Paint isn't technology anymore, it's in the same category as...I dunno, astrolabes) on my laptop using the touchpad because even my mouse has decided it doesn't want to work anymore (it just goes skittering all over the screen like it's on something reflective, but it's not. Maybe I need a mouse with a trackball in it? To the antique store!). 

     Yep, that about sums it up. 

I fail at online shopping.

I've been having a really hard time finding anything on my online shopping list lately. Most recently, I spent several hours looking for either a) new curtains or b) fabric to make new curtains, and couldn't come up with anything to my liking in either option. I looked at 3,872 different fabric prints (that's not an exaggeration, that's the actual number). And I still have no curtains. That's only the most recent in a string of failures. I just keep having moments where "I bet I could find it online" turns into someone finding me hunched over my laptop an hour later with a hollow look in my eyes. 

     Stop letting me down, internet. 

"What sort of horrid ice goblin is guarding the thermostat?"

A comic requested by Amanda. 

Don't hate me cause you ain't me.

Please read that post title in your sarcasm voice. 

Hope you're all enjoying your holidays! Regular posting will be back on Monday!

Lesson Learned: I can't be trusted with a curling iron.

I'm not handling this time change very well.

In case you were wondering. 

All they need are good friends, good fun...and a little time in the Harmony Hut!

     Today's illustrated tweet is brought to you courtesy of the Addams Family Values and Congressional incompetence.