I bet Yoshi makes a lousy pet.

Snow day, snow dog?

     I know I said I was going to hibernate through this snow storm, but I did end up crawling out of my cozy cave to play in the snow for a bit...and build this masterpiece with Amanda: a life-size snow Lexie!

     If you're thinking that's not so impressive, please consider that our model there is 155 pounds of snuggle; that is to say, she ain't little. So a life-size snow replica was a good bit of work. Especially when your model insists on snuffling up behind you to try to eat the snow. 

Welcome to the internet, here's a cat picture.

     The past few days have gone by so fast! They've been the kind of day where you get up early, then do THINGS THINGS THINGS and when you stop to take a breath and sit down for a second, suddenly it's bedtime. So I haven't really had time to think about doing any crafting or writing anything or even drawing a quick little picture for this here blog. Instead I offer you the cutest picture I have of Big Bessie. I don't think I've posted it before (I might be wrong, but hey, if I am, let's just relive a classic). I was working on editing a manuscript and she kept stealing my post-it notes, so I gave her one that expressed  her feelings more accurately. It says "plz to b feeding now," which I suspect is the only thing Bessie would ever say if she could actually talk. I also enjoy how small Bessie looks in this picture. It's just the angle, she was never actually any smaller than she is now, but a flattering picture is a flattering picture.

Ch-ch-changes!

     Ok, now that the obligatory Bowie reference is out of the way, let's get on with the post. Fall is the season of change, and thus, appropriately, I've been making a few little changes here and there lately. Let's take a look-see. 

1. I did this to my laptop.

Should maybe have added a warning to grab a bowl for when your eyeballs pop out.

      I dunno why. Cause I'm a grown-up now and I can put stickers on WHATEVER I WANT, I guess. I was just randomly struck with the urge to make my laptop look like it belonged to a third grader, so I covered it in ponies and Batman and sharks and Hello Kitty and cupcakes. Such is my life. I'll be mature in the ways I have to be (like being punctual and honest and responsible and shit) but you can pry my stickers and cartoons and sugary cereals from my cold, dead, sticky-from-recently-eating-candy hands. But this explosion of chid-like glee isn't the only thing I did to my laptop...

     (On a side note, if you're wondering why my reading lamp is turned upside down like that, it's because when I turned it on the other day the light bulb went out, and when I tried to change the light bulb, it turned to shards and dust-clouds in my hand, resulting in a big debacle in which I was pretty sure I was gonna die from accidentally breathing the powdery stuff they put inside light bulbs, and the coroner would be sure I was some delinquent trying to huff light bulb guts, and my family would live in shame forever. After that massive freak-out I kind of didn't feel like dealing with getting the remnants of the bulb out of the lamp, so for now it's just a decorative vase of glass shards hanging above my bed. Stylish.)

2. I replaced the keyboard. 

     This isn't exactly an exciting accomplishment, but I was pretty pleased with myself for getting it done without somehow mutilating the computer beyond repair and having to blow my savings on a whole new computer. Why did i have to replace the keyboard, you ask? WELL. That's because my mom threw a pattern envelope to me for my perusal, but I wasn't paying attention, so I didn't catch it. Instead it went skittering across my keyboard, popping off and breaking (as in, it was not a matter of just popping them back on) a few of the keys in the process. If that sounds implausible, that's because you must not know that apparently my mother has been a secret ninja, practiced in the art of the throwing star, all this time. Yeah, I was surprised too. You can order replacement keys, as well as the little plastic mechanisms that hold them on and make them function, but with the cost of the keys themselves plus the shipping cost (not to mention the wait-time that comes with standard shipping -- I can only go for so long without parentheses keys, you know? Yeah, you know), it ended up making more sense to just buy a replacement keyboard from Amazon with two-day Prime shipping so it'd be cheap and get here quickly. After watching a Youtube video showing how to change the keyboard on a laptop similar to my own, it was a pretty simple operation. Aaah, nothing like a new keyboard, keys all present and functional, all clicky and new, with no food crumbs stuck in the crevices (I'm the worst).

     I also have a pink keyboard skin coming to a) prevent any more freak accidents like that from happening again, b) help keep the new keyboard clean and dust/crumb free, and c) to really take the pink-cuteness factor from the stickers on the front and just amp it up to 11. Whose laptop is this, Katy Perry's? Nope, it's mine. 

3. I dyed my hair again. 

Oh look, it's super blown-out on a white background; it's like Terry Richardson takes my blog photos. Just kidding, I just get overzealous with the flash sometimes. Also ew, Terry Richardson.

      It's basically the same color I had before, but it had faded quite a bit and my roots were growing in blonde, which had a weird effect where it looked like my hair was thinning or I did a crap job brushing out my dry shampoo. It's super dark now, but it'll lighten up after a few washes. Not that I mind. I quite like having my hair very dark; I think it enhances my eyes (which is why I'm making the crazy-eyes face above. I think. Maybe that's just my face). Plus it's kind of fun to be really really pale with really really dark hair, like maybe I'm just in black and white, on my way to go hang with Steamboat Willie and Lucy Ricardo. 

4. I reconfigured my bookcase. Again. 

      You may recall that the last configuration I had going on there was a curtain-type cover held up by tension rods. Well, full disclosure: it didn't work out. Turns out I had underestimated my cat's innate instinct to annoy the absolute shit outta me. She got into the habit of pawing at the curtain at ungodly hours of the night and morning until she pushed the tension rods back, making a loud metallic shuffly sound that drove me absolutely batty. So I had to rethink the situation. I sat in the floor staring at the bookcase for a good half hour, plotting and scheming, while my mom's face floated around my head, cartoon style, saying "Why don't you just clear out the bottom shelf and let her have it?" I hadn't wanted to empty the shelf because there were approximately a million cords hanging back there that I didn't want her to chew on and die or start a house fire. And because it would look stupid to have the entire bottom shelf completely empty. So after some frenetic late night crafting, this is the solution I settled on. All the cords got organized (half of them weren't even connected to anything, so I rolled them up into a box in case I ever need them) and put into one of the shoeboxes on the middle shelf. There's only four cords going in there into a power strip (it looks like more, but some of what you see is cords connecting the dvd player and cable box to the tv, and the cable wire loops around like eight times back there, so it looks like more of a mess. Whatever, I'll deal). I'd read that you don't need to worry about cords getting too hot and posing a fire hazard unless they have that block adapter halfway through the cord, but just in case, I cut the back off the box so it stays ventilated and un-explode-y. 

     Once I had the cord situation under control, it was time to tackle that bottom shelf. I wanted to put Bessie's water and food dishes on it so that I wouldn't kick them as I walked by and make huge messes anymore, but I didn't want to risk a spill ruining the wood. So I grabbed an old Ikea shopping bag, which is essentially a tarp, and pulled it apart, cutting the resulting material to cover the shelf. But that's ugly! So then I raided my scrap fabric stash and found some navy and white polka dot fabric to put over that. To keep it in place I just wrapped it around the back, then pushed the bookcase against the wall to hold it, then wrapped it under the front and slid empty videogame and dvd cases under to hold the fabric taut. If this is all sounding very jury-rigged and mad-scientisty, it's because it was. I couldn't stand another night of waking up to that God-forsaken tension rod slipping. But it's worked so far, and it could look a lot worse. 

5. I don't really have a number five, but I like having five items in a list. 

     I did change some diapers yesterday, this time without having any catastrophic flooding events, so I was quite proud of that. But I don't think you'd appreciate a picture of that very much, so instead here's a picture of cute little baby feet in the grass. 

Cat Toy Apocalypse

     (Dibs on Cat Toy Apocalypse as a heavy metal/traditional yodeling fusion band name.)

     Bessie's cat toys have been driving me nuts. For lack of a better solution, they've just been sitting around in something of a disorganized pile. I can't put them in a box or basket, you see, because Bessie, problem-child that she is, will chew on anything that has corners. Not with enough intention to actually damage anything or leave bite marks, just enough to make loud noises with her teeth that wake me up when she's gnawing on some bit of furniture at 4:00 AM to get my attention so I can wake up and feed her because SWEET MERCY HER BOWL IS HALF EMPTY, CALL FEMA, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY (I cannot emphasize enough to you that although she is my cat and I'm her person and I love her and all, she is a right pain in the ass most of the time). So that rules out most easily found storage solutions. Time to get creative. I decided that if I made a little box out of flexible foam it would keep the toys corralled but not be enticing to the Beast, since it wouldn't make any noise when chewed upon.

THE SUPPLIES

 
     A glue gun, glue sticks, flexible foam sheets, spray adhesive, and cute fabric. 


THE METHOD

     First I decided on the size I wanted the little  box to be. I ended up going with one and a half widths of the foam, because that would make it square, and squares are nicer than rectangles (to work with, I mean, not in terms of personality. This ain't no Flatlands reference). I just hot glued the piece-and-a-half together to make the square base. I also cut two more sheets in half to make the sides of the box. 

     Next I hot-glued the sides onto the base, trying to keep things nicely aligned and straightened but not worrying too much about it because a) I knew I was going to cover it in fabric anyway, which hides a lot of sins and b) it's a cat toy box, it doesn't need to be perfect. Perspective, folks. 

     Once the basic construction of the box was done, it was time to cover its hideousness with fabric. I traced around the base, then added a bit on each side so I could fold the extra on the sides over and glue them down to make nice edges. That way when I stuck all the pieces on the sides of the box down, extending the raw edges slightly onto the base, I could cover the raw edges with this one nice bottom piece. I also made a piece the same way to go on the bottom of the outside, just cuz. 
 

     For the side pieces I cut rectangles twice the height of the sides so that I could cover both the inside and outside of each side with one sheet, and I added a little extra on each side of the rectangle for wiggle room, and so that I could wrap it underneath the inside and outside bottom pieces, concealing all the raw edges underneath the bottom pieces that I gave nice edges to earlier. Does that make sense? I hope it does. Anyway, once I had all the pieces prepared I stuck them on with spray adhesive, sticking the two sides opposite each other on first, then the other two sides on, folding the edges under so everything looks nice and finished. I came back in with the glue gun to fix any places that didn't fully adhere with just spray adhesive, like the folded corners. I burned myself quite badly on this part, so do be careful with hot glue, people. It's hot.

THE FINISHED PRODUCT
 
     Finally all that was left was to pile in all the toys and slip the whole thing somewhere discreet. Next to my desk ended up being the winning location. 

     Aaaahh, much less messy. The one organized bone in my body breathes a sigh of relief (bones breathe and have personality traits, right? Is that a thing? That's a thing). 

     Sometimes I just don't have any crafts or recipes or stories to post about, and I have to think outside the box about what to put up on this page to entertain you lovely people. I actually have a sewing project planned that I was going to whip up yesterday, but then it was one of those days where I basically just want to sit around in my jimjams eating pasta all day, so instead I offer you this photo of Bessie wearing a kitty toy on her head like a fascinator she's going to wear to a royal wedding. 

     Don't say I never gave you nothin!

How was your day?

     Here's the kind of day I had yesterday:

I got in a fight with the cat.

I over-reacted to stupid situations.

And I had a self-tanner ordeal.

     Hopefully today will be better. So tell me, what kind of day are you  having?

Two Minute Madness!

     I thought of the idea for this post as I was staring at my tablet, thinking, "I'd like to draw something for the blog, I feel like I haven't done any fun little drawings in forever." I couldn't think of anything in particular to draw though, and I didn't want to end up spending hours and hours perfecting a paneled comic into the wee hours of the morn (which ALWAYS ends up happening. It's the one random corner of life in which I am a perfectionist). So here's the basic idea of how to play this little game of mine:

1. Think of a category.

2. Draw three things in that category, BUT....

3. Spend NO MORE than two minutes on each drawing. 


    It ended up being pretty fun! This time the category I came up with was "good advice." 

 

                                                                                                                                                         

                                                                                                                                                           

Bessie's Dream House

     I decided yesterday that since I've been wanting to spruce up my living space lately, it's only fair if Big Bessie's living space gets some home improvement too! Sure, she shares my room, but I doubt she cares about what I put on the walls. So I made her a little house to call her own, since she's an independent lady and all. 

Haha, look at the treat in there. I was trying to get her to give it a try, but I think it still smelled like spray adhesive. Gotta give these things time.

     But you know how cats are -- they're picky. So I wasn't going to drop money on a cat mansion when there's always a chance she'd hate it. I wanted to make her a cozy little place where she'd feel secure if the other cats are picking on her (a real thing, trust me -- I'm not just being a crazy overprotective cat lady, one of the other cats really does pick on her. I'm not making myself sound any less crazy, am I?) or if she's trippin' on catnip and the demons from behind her eyeballs are coming to get her, but I decided to do it using only things I could find around the house. That way, if she hated it, I could throw it all out and pretend it never happened without feeling like I'd wasted money. 

     So I started with item number one on the list of Things Cats Dig, a cardboard box. Then I used some leftover batting and fleece to throw together a pad for the bottom. I folded the batting over double to give it a little more squish, then cut it to the size of the box.

     I didn't even bother sewing the pad up, partly because I only had enough of the scrap fleece to cover one side, partly because it's for the cat. She doesn't care. So I put it together with hot glue, like so. 

     Then I quickly drizzled a hot mess (literally) of glue all over the back and plopped it into the box. 

     Next I cut some holes into the box: a big square hole for the entrance (Big Bessie is an accurate name, so it had to be a pretty large opening), and two small circular holes on each side of the "roof" I planned to construct, so that she could look out through them and plot and scheme, as cats do. I used a big honkin' utility knife because no one was around to tell me "You're gonna hurt yourself with that!" I also cut the flaps on the short ends of the box into the shape I wanted the roof to be. You'll notice that this way, the longer sides don't meet up, and the top of the roof is open. I just grabbed another piece of cardboard and cut it to the size of the opening to remedy that.

You'll also notice I spray-painted the box white first. It went...poorly. The spray-paint couldn't hide enough of the boxes sins, like rough patches where tape had been pulled off. Skip the spray paint, save yourself the effort.

    

     Then all that was left was to decorate the kitty-house and hot glue the structure of the roof together.

     I chose to decorate mine by covering the sides in two different patterns of wrapping paper. Just unroll the paper, rest the side you want to cover on the paper, and trace around it, leaving an extra inch or so anywhere that you want the paper to wrap around and cover the edges (This part took me back to taking the SATs, with those questions where you had to figure out what a three-dimensional shape would look like unfolded into two dimensions. Good times!). Then use spray adhesive to smooth the paper onto the box. 

     Then I added some ribbon on the front edges to cover up where the paper didn't line up perfectly, a shell covered in aluminum foil to give it some beach house flair and sparkle, two plastic photo corner type dealies, and her name written in metallic purple. Obviously you could decorate according to your own taste and your cat's personality (reeeally not helping myself sound less like a crazy person here). For example, Big Bessie is a pretty princess type (sometimes I call her Princess Dumpster, for she is delicate and fancy like a princess, but shovels food in like she's filling a dumpster. I'm complimentary like that), so I went for pretty patterns, shiny accents, and a general Barbie's Dream House feel. But for Kaden, the troublemaker cat that is 100% true to the stereotypes set forth in Lady and the Tramp, I would use darker colors and put a skull and crossbones on the front instead of a seashell, so he could have a little scoundrel's cove to hang out in. Options! 

     And lest I leave you hanging, I'll end the suspense: she likes it now that it doesn't smell like glue anymore. I caught this snap of her sneaking in to check things out.