See, it turns out I really missed my old sheets, but I couldn't just put them back on because they were legitimately overdue for replacement -- just too worn and dingy to carry on. I had kind of taken them for granted until I bought the microfiber ones, which were soft, but not oh-my-god-I-will-rub-my-feet-on-this-for-ten-minutes-before-going-to-sleep-each-night soft.
The other thing that was driving me nuts was that since the microfiber fitted sheet didn't have elastic all the way around, it came off CONSTANTLY. I have a stupidly deep mattress (because I insist on keeping a 3-inch memory foam topper on it -- no regrets, it's amazing), so maybe on a normal sized mattress it would be fine, but with all the tossing and turning I do when I'm having a random night terror about neon pink and yellow scarabs crawling up the wall (I don't know man, I don't even know) it popped off every single night and bunched up everywhere.
So I bought a set of the kind I used to have, in a pretty blue color. These sheets are elasticized all the way around, and they're also a lot stretchier, so the annoying bunching problem is solved.
And I know you can't tell from looking at them, because they just look like any old sheets, but HOLY FREAKING GOD THEY ARE SO SOFT. And I don't bestow that caps-lock-iness lightly, because I have the sensitive skin of a Victorian noblewoman and I'm really persnickety about my tactile sensations. I'm that person that goes through stores touching every single pillow and blanket and sweater and either "ooooh!"ing or recoiling in horror. Fear me, germophobes, for I have touched textiles all up and down the eastern seaboard. I'm really good about washing my hands though, so there's that.
Um. Right, back to the point! These sheets that I'm so in love with are the Pure Beech Jersey Knit Sheets. I got mine from Bed Bath & Beyond, where queen size in light blue ran $69.99 at first, but came down to around $55 with a coupon. That's pretty spendy for me, but I haven't even had the slightest anxiety about spending money on these, because getting into bed every night since I got them has been a serious treat, and I wake up in the morning feeling like a freaking butterfly emerging out of my silky-ass cocoon. I wanted to give everyone a heads up that I believe they are discontinuing a sort of artichoke green color and a deep pink grapefruit-y color, since they aren't listed on the website anymore and in store they had those colors marked down to $9.99! NINE NINETY NINE. Amanda bought a set of the dark pink ones just because she didn't want to lose money on that deal. Point being if either of those colors tickle your fancy and you want the nicest sheets your face could possibly drool on, go check out your BB&B and see if you can find them, cause that's a hell of a deal.
Actually, my searching their website for that link up there led me to discover they also have something called the "Ultimate Luxury" sheet set from the same brand, so that's probably the nicest sheets your face could possibly drool on, but they're considerably more expensive. Not gonna lie though, I actually winced and groaned aloud at the thought of how amazing they probably are. I think I might have a real problem with sheets. My Gatsby would just throw a bunch of breathable organic-fiber sheets around and I would sob and say "They're such beautiful sheets. It makes me sad because I've never seen such beautiful sheets."
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