Friday, May 8, 2015

How to Plan a Wedding in Under Three Months

I'd like to say I'm kidding, but that's kind of the gist of what I've been up to. So, this fiance of mine, he's in the army, right? And we're getting married in July because of some unromantic army reasons (the summary of which is basically that we want to be married before we move states and live together in September, and July is the only time he can take enough leave for a wedding and a honeymoon).

Sidenote: To preemptively quell anyone's worries about rushing things, let me assure you that Chris and I both knew within two weeks of our first hellos that we were going to get married. That whole thing about how when you find the one, you just "know?" Totally true. We know and understand and accept each other so well it feels like we've been together for lifetimes. I have complete and utter unfailing confidence in this. And as someone who regularly has immense existential crises about whether to eat a burrito or a quesadilla, feeling that sure about something is a big deal for me. So when circumstances necessitated a wedding sooner rather than later, we just kind of said "alrighty then, let's do this." 

Now, I've never been a girl who dreams about her wedding day. I've never wanted a huge shining venue with thousands of fresh cut roses and a poofy jewel-encrusted gown. To me, a wedding is just a way to say to your closest friends and family, "Hey, we're gonna spend the rest of our lives together. Come celebrate how lucky we are and share in our happiness!" It's an expression of who we are as a couple. We're not the kind of people who need the showmanship of a big wedding (not that I have anything at all against those who want that. You want to ride into your wedding on a white horse, do so with my blessing. Go all out, stick a unicorn horn on that horse. Live your dream!). We just want to stand with all our most important people as witnesses and make official all the promises we've already made to each other. To us, it's a simple thing, and we want to celebrate it pretty simply: good company, good food, lots to drink, and a good time.

With all that said? Planning even a small, simple wedding is really damn stressful. There's food and drink and location and officiants and decor and finding a dress to worry about, just off the top of my head. I mean, one of the first things you're supposed to do is pick a venue, and that alone sent me into a rage spiral several hours deep.

What the @#%& makes someone think it's okay to ask EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS to rent a BARN to have a reception in? For eight thousand dollars I expect you to provide me with a team of highly specialized woodland creatures to custom-create me a wedding dress onto my body the morning of my nuptials. In addition to the use of your barn.

And trying to do all that on a tight timeline? God help me. It's really hard to be chill about designing invitations when you know that if you were adhering to proper form and etiquette, they need to go out...about two months ago. 

But I'm doing my best, and I'm making progress. Jen has been my rock at all times (holla for awesome sisters!), and of course Chris is doing his best to help in any planning he can. Plus he regularly reminds me without trying that at the end of all this, the only thing that really matters is that I'll be marrying the love of my life. There are so many expectations tied to weddings that it's easy to get caught up in the trivial things that people and pinterest and tv and movies and culture in general make seem so gravely important. But I'm just going to focus on what I've known from the start: it's not the wedding I'm excited about. It's the lifetime of happiness after. 

Is that incredibly cheesy? Yep. But I'm just in a mood where I felt like I needed to speak my mind for a bit. Also I left my tablet at Jen's house, so I couldn't draw a comic about puns or weird bird facts or what have you. But mostly the heartfelt bit. 

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