Wednesday, February 6, 2013

The Thing in the Woods

     You know how when you hear something rustling around in the woods just out of sight, you think "Probably a squirrel...rabid racoon...wolverine...mutant bear with sniper training" and it just escalates so quickly in your mind you don't really have a chance to stop it? Yeah, well I may have let that instinct get a little out of hand. You see, living in the middle of nowhere has a way of making you keenly aware of the fact that the dark unknown of the forest is all that surrounds you.

     But I don't think it's bears or wolves or mountain lions traipsing around the woods at night. No sir, not anymore. Pop culture and basic common knowledge have led me to the rather obvious conclusion that when you hear a big something in the woods but can't quite see it, there are only two explanations: either there's a Sasquatch or a Sassysquatch (proper scientific term for a female Sasquatch) gallivanting about, or Voldemort's hunting the unicorns again.

     Or explanation number three, which I shall plainly present to you here: it's both. The thing you hear moving in the brush is.....


     So there's a fun image to keep in your head next time you're getting wigged out about twigs snapping nearby.


  1. Oh gosh, you're hilarious! I've been reading your blog posts like a crazed addict (to blogs, of all things) and it's totally making my day. Thank you for this!

  2. Thanks, Sam! I'm so glad you're enjoying my little slice of internet weirdness!