Friday, March 7, 2014

Friday Favorites: "This is why I can't watch movies in theaters" edition!

     Real talk: I don't even remember what my other favorites were going to be this week, because today Amanda got the Hunger Games: Catching Fire dvd (a day early! I shall not question thy will, Amazon Prime, but merely bask in gratitude) and we watched it pretty much immediately and I cried continuously. You know when you don't get the cap of your water bottle on quite right so it just leaks little by little until suddenly you realize everything's a mess? That was me, leaking tears through the whole damn movie (such metaphor. very writer). I have a really awful headache now, probably from my brain banging on my skull saying "This is FICTIONAL, ya ding-dong. Get it together." But whatever, I get attached to my fictional characters, ok? Anyway, I thought I was doing pretty good holding it together and silent crying with just the occasional melodramatic sob, then my eyes starting burning really bad. So I paused the movie and went to splash some water on my face and THIS HAD HAPPENED.

I stopped laughing long enough to put on a tragic face for you guys. You know, for authenticity. 
     They were not screwing around when they labeled this mascara "high drama," y'all. Those are actual STREAKS of it down my face, like I was guest-starring on the Hills or about to come crawling out of your television to murder you. It was out of control. 

     Anyway, I know this may not seem like the most glowing review of the movie, but it is actually super amazing. I may have cried the whole time (except for the break where I came bursting out of the bathroom cackling hysterically to make everyone look at what was happening on my face), but I'm the kind of weirdo who likes to get all my crying done in one big cathartic sitting. That way when life's getting me down later (or, let's be honest, I see a particularly touching Google Chrome ad), I can handle it because my whole month's supply of tears has already been used. Basic biology, totally how it works. 

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