Quick Fixes: T-shirt Envy

     Here's a scenario I find myself in frequently: you see a t-shirt somewhere online and think "Oooh, I want that!" then you either a) can't find it again later or b) track down where it comes from and find out it doesn't come in the size/color/material/exact font that you want. What do you do? Make your own! 

     This time around I kept seeing variations of the same idea: some shirt (long sleeve, short sleeve, white, pink, blue, what have you) with the phrase "ex-mermaid" on it in any number of fonts. This pleased me. I frequently joke that I used to be a mermaid, since that would explain the truly stupid amount of hair I have as well as my insane water consumption needs (I wake up like Spongebob in Sandy's treedome. waaaater. waaaater. Also one time in Target I picked up a bottle of water at the checkout, but the line was somewhat longish and by the time I got to the cashier I had to buy a second bottle because I'd already drank the first one. The struggle is real). And my uncanny ability to lure sailors to their deaths and collect their souls, I guess (I would not be a sweet mermaid). Anyway, I decided I'd just whip myself up a version of that theme.

     For the stencil, I downloaded a free font I liked, typed it up, then printed it and asked my mom to trace/cut it out of stencil material because I can't be trusted to not cut a finger off with an x-acto knife (I'm too shaky; like a chihuahua but more rattled). Then I just taped the corners down...

This neon paint and nail polish color actually make me look tan. What a fantastic illusion. 

     And stippled the paint straight up and down over the stencil. If you go at an angle at all you can end up getting paint under the stencil, so it's important to hold the stencil tight and your pouncer thingy straight. Then let the paint dry a bit, pull off the stencil and...

     Voila! The dark splotch up there is because I tried to ruin everything by getting a smidge of paint off the edge of the stencil. I caught it pretty quickly though, so it came out with a wet paper towel no problem. I think I'm going to roll the sleeves on the shirt (it's just a plain pale pink short sleeved oversized tee I picked up at a craft store out of a sale section. It doesn't look very pink here, but as we've seen, the neon plays tricks) and tack them so they stay up, then it'll be ready to wear!

Well it's no "forever comfy," but it's a damn sight prettier than that too.

     Have you seen the infomercials for the Forever Comfy? It's pretty convincing. It will make your butt comfy forever. For all eternity. In this lifetime and the next, you shall have the comfiest bum. I want it kind of badly, but also not at all because I'm not an arthritic 80 year old postman who needs to shore up his La-z-boy's defenses before plopping down to watch golf and eat a microwaveable Salisbury Steak. So. 

     Anyway, I needed a new cushion for my desk chair, because the one I had was not squashy enough to suit my needs, and it was also bought as a placeholder while I looked for something better, but it did that sneaky thing where it hung around for like eight months without me noticing. Originally I wanted to buy a new chair entirely, because the one I use is actually a decades-old kitchen chair that is badly warped and incredibly uncomfortable, but it turns out chairs are expensive and I am le poor. So the next best thing was to get a new cushion, and when I couldn't find one that was the right dimensions and suitably cute, I realized it was time to engage the craftiness ray. I picked up a cushion filler thing-jig and a nice geometric print duck cloth that matches the accent colors in my room (like the dark blue throw pillow on my bed and the various blue tones on the back of my desk), as well as a zipper so the cover could be removable for washing purposes (important because I sit at my desk and do my makeup, and apparently I put makeup on like a toddler, so it gets everywhere). And then...

     Cue the record scratch sound, because I couldn't actually find the motivation to stitch it up. I go through phases with my DIY-ing, where for a while all I want to do is craft this, sew that, make this, but then for a long time I might not want to make anything (except food. I always want to make food). Or sometimes I wake up with a weird urge to clean, and all I'll do is clean for three days. I dunno, it's a weird process. 

     But whilst I was out the other day my mom decided she felt like sewing, so she made it for me to surprise me when I got home! She's the best. And she even took all the pictures in this post so I could blog about it. Did I mention she's the best? So! Here's how she whipped it up. 

     After cutting two pieces of fabric that were two inches bigger on all sides than the foam, she folded the edges over half an inch on one end of each piece of fabric, ironed them down, then laid the zipper on top of the folds and sewed it in. 

"Put a picture of the zipper in, that's the most impressive part!" she says. I know this picture is from later on, but we're talking about zippers now, so whatever.

Then she opened the zipper and sewed a half inch seam on the remaining three sides.

     For the corners, she opened up the seams and lined them up. The cushion was three inches thick, so she measured three inches edge to edge as pictured, then sewed across that line. Then when it's turned right-side-out, it looks like this! 

     And that's it! I came home and found my chair looking all snazzy like this.

     And the best part is it makes that chair of angles and sorrow a thousand times comfier. 

Quick Fixes: Looket this locket!

     So I was browsin' the craft store the other day, helping Amanda pick out ingredients to make a necklace for an '80s party, when these little thingies caught my eye.

They were also on sale for 50% off, so if you were thinking that $8.99 is surprisingly pricey for a cheap-ass like me, you were right! 

     Actually I first saw the little filler doodads on the left there and did a "gasp OOOOOOOOOH" because that is everything I love in my jewels contained in one tiny package: moons, stars, mixed metals, sparkles (they had a TON of different sets too: beach theme, sports, and so on). Then I spent a good three minutes trying to find the other component, the thing you actually put the baublies in. I finally found them at the veeery top of the display. They had this plainer version and one that had rhinestones around the outside, like in the picture on the packaging on the left, but I thought that was too flashy for me. 

     So I got them home and put them together (it just snaps open with a strong magnetic closure, like a locket), and IT'S REALLY PRETTY. Sorry for getting all capsy, but I really like how it's got a thrown-together vibe, like "Oh I was just finishing up some spells I was casting this morning and tossed some talismans and charms in here to take with me," because you know one of my favorite aesthetics is "weird cat-lady who the neighbor kids are pretty sure is a witch," aka the aunts from Practical Magic. 

     I'm going to put it on a long silver chain to wear, but I can't decide if I should leave it as is or age the silver locket part a bit. It might feel a little too shiny and new for me right now. I was thinking of scuffing it up a bit with some sandpaper and rubbing a little dark paint in the scratches to make it look old, like someone recently dug it up in the forest (I have weird fashion aspirations, don't I?). Or possibly putting some tiny bits of gold or copper leaf on it in a few places to bring in more of that mixed metal look I love so much? I'm not sure how that would hold up, anyway. I just don't know! I'll have to think on it. 

(Insert your favorite pun based on the word "dye" here)

     Yesterday was an exciting benchmark -- my first foray into dyeing clothes! I had never dyed anything before (aside from tie-dye projects, obviously. Wait, is that obvious?), mostly because I had this conception that it was a big hassle and super messy. But I finally had the kick in the pants I needed to try it out, in the form of this hand-me-down shirt. 

     Amanda was cleaning out her closet the other day and asked me if I wanted this shirt to sleep in or something. The caveat of "to sleep in or something" is because of that stain on the left sleeve; apparently she got chocolate on it, didn't notice, washed and dried it, then noticed it, and....left it sitting in her closet for five months. So that's a pretty damn set-in stain. It was not coming out. And sure, I could have just worn it as a PJ top, but it's one of the nice soft, drapey, comfy shirts from Victoria's Secret that I'm too cheap to buy myself. I wanted to make the most of this freebie! So I decided to try dyeing it a dark color to hide the stain and thus squeeze some extra wearability out of it. I figured it was at least worth a shot, since even if I ruined it completely somehow, hey, it was still a free shirt to begin with. 

     I picked this dark purple dye because I figured it would camouflage the stain but still be pretty. Obviously to hide a chocolate stain, brown or black would be the easiest options, but I didn't want to go brown because brown is a disgusting color (sorry I'm not sorry), and black would have looked fine, but since I mainly wear dark-washed jeans or leggings, dyeing the shirt black would pretty much rule out wearing it anywhere other than funerals with very casual dress codes. So, purple it is. I followed the directions on the back of the packet almost to the letter, except that it said to stir the fabric item in the dye/hot water/salt mixture constantly for fifteen minutes, and I felt like surely they had just put that on there to screw with people. Fifteen minutes is a long time to stand around stirring a tub of clothes and murky water like Charlie Bucket's mom. I stirred for maybe three minutes before I got bored and quit. 

I mean, I stirred it a little better than this. 

     Then after it had stewed for the appropriate amount of time, I rinsed-rinsed-rinsed it in the sink before chucking it in the washer on cold with some similarly colored items. Yeah, I did a purple load. How's that for separating your laundry? I didn't put it in the dryer because the packet said to avoid exposing the dyed item to heat or sunlight. So to avoid heat, I figured best not put it in the dryer or wear it when snuggled up in my heated blanket, and to avoid sunlight, I'll just continue my usual cave-dweller lifestyle. Once it had air-dried...ta-da!

     You can still see the stain if you're looking, but it's at a level of unnoticeableness (pretend that's a word) that I'm comfortable with. Only the truly detail-oriented will notice when I'm wearing it (especially because it's on the back of the sleeve, where I'd have to be raising my hand or something, which I rarely do because I'm a rebel and I'll talk out of turn if I want to, dammit. YOLO and such).  I think it's kind of cool how the embroidered Victoria's Secret dog at the bottom didn't take any dye since it's synthetic thread and synthetic fibers are less porous than natural fibers because they're spun from polymers that make it smooth and blah blah blah, science. I am glad that none of the other threads are visible though, because I don't think I'd like a purple shirt with neon green seams. Too much muchness. The other side-effect is that all that stirring around with a stick, combined with no heat from the dryer, means this shirt streeeetched out quite a bit. I'm actually totally cool with that, because it just makes it slouchy and cocoon-esque and generally a delight to wear, but if you're thinking about dyeing something yourself, take that into account. 

     Overall I am happy to report that my first foray into at-home clothes dyeing is a success! I like when that happens. 

Night night, sleep tight.

     I'd been wanting to make myself a sleep mask for a while now, for a totally First World Problems-esque reason: I like to fall asleep with the tv on, because listening to it keeps my mind just occupied enough to stave off my nighttime anxiety/racing thoughts, but not so occupied that I can't fall asleep. That's not the first world problem, though. It's that my tv is kind of too big and bright. Yeah, I'm sorry that I even made you read me saying that, because I realize what a jerk it makes me sound like. But it's true! It's a great tv for daytime, but when I'm trying to fall asleep, those bright white commercials can be a little jarring (somebody call the Waaaah-mbulance). So I decided I'd whip up a quick little eye mask to wear at night. Well, it would have been a quick project, were I not completely and utterly incompetent. But we'll get to that. First, let me get to the point and show you what I made. 

     As you can see, it's pretty simple. It's assembled from these pieces...

     I would have taken pictures of the assembly process, but as I mentioned, it was kind of a shit-show for me, so the documentation part slipped my mind. Basically I just cut out two pieces of a soft stretchy-ish fabric based on a template I made of paper, then cut out two layers of batting in the same shape, but smaller so they'd fit inside. For the straps, I made my life way more difficult than it had to be by making them out of fabric, sewing a long rectangle into a tube and turning it (the unfinished edge ended up inside the seam of the mask, so I didn't have to worry about that). In hindsight, I wish I'd just used ribbon. To assemble, I put the two pieces of the mask right sides together and sewed around everywhere except the sides, where I wanted the straps to attach inside. Then I turned it right side out, shoved the batting inside, lined up the straps, and sewed them in, closing the open spaces on the mask at the same time. To make the mask stay on and actually, you know, function, I sewed a bit of elastic at the back (you can see it in the top photo if you look closely; it's right underneath where the two straps overlap at the back). Finally, for the cheeky eyelashes and winged liner, I used some scrap lace and ribbon, attached with hot glue. 

     Did I make that sound simple? It really should have been. But nooo, I had to make it involve literal tears and blood. See, originally I was going to make the whole mask out of that blue fabric the straps are made from, but it turns out that fabric is a complete and utter bitch to sew on. It kept shredding and turning into this fine blue fuzzy dust in my hands. Absolute misery. Eventually my frustration got the better of me, and I decided to switch gears. The animal print fabric I chose instead was somewhat easier to work with, but since it's stretchy, it still gave me a few issues. I also somehow managed to gravely wound myself with a pin when placing the straps, which necessitated a ten minute break to hold a paper towel on my finger (I considered adding a picture of the bloodied paper towel for drama, but decided that was probably too gross and vaguely serial-killer-y). How do you hurt yourself so badly with a straight-pin that it bleeds for ten minutes? Hell if I know. Blind luck, I guess. So that's where the blood came in.  

     After that I figured I was in for a massively traumatic hot glue gun burn or something, but surprisingly I managed to traverse that minefield safely. Where it really all went to hell was when I was about two minutes from being done, as I was sewing in the elastic piece at the back. Remember those nice straps that I went to all the trouble of making out of that God-forsaken blue fabric composed of a heretofore unknown form of matter that is apparently only a solid mass until I touch it? Just after I finished sewing the first side of the elastic, I went to cut the thread using the little blade tucked away on the back side of my sewing machine. But somehow I managed to get the strap caught in the (seriously, freaking microscopic) blade instead, and in that one quick motion I'm used to doing to cut the thread, I SLICED RIGHT INTO MY BEAUTIFUL OVERLY COMPLICATED STRAPS LIKE GODDAMN SWEENEY TODD. It was at this point that I completely lost it. 

     I couldn't decide if I wanted to laugh or cry, so I kind of did both? It was that fifty-fifty split of sobbing and hysterical laughter that's generally reserved for disturbed lighthouse keepers. I'm sure it was frightening to behold. Especially because I did it while sitting in the middle of this mess:

     Not exactly the kind of beautiful, clean, organized, naturally-lit workspace all the other DIY bloggers have, but I'm pretty sure they're just photoshopping out all the candy wrappers and fabric schnibbles and bloodied tissue scraps. At least that's what I'm going to tell myself. 

     Anyway, after taking a tiny project and somehow turning it into a massive ordeal, I'm gonna go take that sleep mask for a spin and hope my next project goes more smoothly!